US is a large country and that means there will be a range of people you would meet. You should not get your experience be impacted by the minority of assholes. I have lived and traveled in a variety of regions in the US - south, east, northeast, northwest, west and have found very warm relationships with Americans of every type.
Before I went and lived in the US south, many American friends discouraged that there might be racists down there, but I had a blast living in Nashville. I had fun traveling with white families in Arizona, with blacks in Baltimore and New Englanders in Boston. There are enough good people everywhere. Thus, ignore the stereotypes and keep moving on - as you would invariably meet the bad apples along the way. Let the bad apples not stop you from exploring the garden.
Regarding Asians, of all international groups it is the Chinese with whom I found it easy to make friends with. At both my gradschools and workplaces, I made more friends with Chinese than any other group. Indians and Chinese make natural friends in the US. They are humble, hardworking people. Be open, respectful and look to learn some elements of their culture. You could also teach some of yours, as many Chinese grad students are equally curious about Indian culture.
Some tips:
Before I went and lived in the US south, many American friends discouraged that there might be racists down there, but I had a blast living in Nashville. I had fun traveling with white families in Arizona, with blacks in Baltimore and New Englanders in Boston. There are enough good people everywhere. Thus, ignore the stereotypes and keep moving on - as you would invariably meet the bad apples along the way. Let the bad apples not stop you from exploring the garden.
Regarding Asians, of all international groups it is the Chinese with whom I found it easy to make friends with. At both my gradschools and workplaces, I made more friends with Chinese than any other group. Indians and Chinese make natural friends in the US. They are humble, hardworking people. Be open, respectful and look to learn some elements of their culture. You could also teach some of yours, as many Chinese grad students are equally curious about Indian culture.
Some tips:
- Respect local culture: Some foreigners come with an arrogant feeling looking down upon American culture. That is stupid. It is not without reason that these people built the strongest economy on earth. You don't need to adopt, but respect the culture of the host. From respect comes friendships. That is true of all human relationships.
- Learn the basic cultural norms: Keep the door open for the lady, rise up when a lady comes to the table, smile and greet whenever you make eye contact with anyone, generously say thanks whenever someone does a favor - even as simple as keeping a door open, don't talk loud in public, tip a minimum of 15% at the restaurant, queue up in all places, don't cut lanes randomly, don't stare at people, keep up a minimum level of cleanliness.
- Explore family connections programs: Many universities have programs that pair international students with American families. Within my first few weeks in this new country I found a very nice family to pair up. They had me for all their family events - Thanksgiving, Christmas etc and went through pains to make me vegetarian food in all those events. I would have good conversations with 4 generations of their family bringing Indian ideas to them and understanding American ideas.
- Learn to make eye contact well: Americans are very expressive and use eye contact to good use. Look to master it well to provide a confident look. Look to learn some body language tips [like not putting your step back when you are talking about a serious topic where you are trying to get trust]. My friend Scott Rouse (Page on scottrouse.com) has a whole range of content on body language in the US. He trains FBI agents to VCs on this.
- Be light and fun: Don't hesitate to take jokes on yourself or sometimes on your culture [don't be disrespectful though]. Americans are often self deprecating and this can often be a good way to deepen friendships. The other day, as one of the rare non-americans in the company, I was explaining my team about the Indian nod as various others poked fun of American culture. Respectful humor is the foundation of intercultural harmony.
- Learn local rules and try not to break both legal and moral rules:Each region would have their own set of rules, conventions and expectations. Some of them are quite basic - put garbage on the basket. Others could be more obscure. Learn these rules from reading and observations.
- Buy artistic gifts in bulk: If possible, buy a whole range of artistic gifts from India - portraying culture in tasteful way. I got to art galleries in Chennai and buy a lot of idols and other gifts. It could be quite small. Gift them to the new friends you make. It would be a tasteful way to start friendship as it is likely to be remembered.
- Learn elements of popular culture: In my first week at work, there was almost an acrimony with a coworker due to something he said. Only later I realized that he pointing to an episode in Seinfeld. Popular culture references are very common. Look to have some grip of them. Seinfeld and House of Cards are a good start. Then continue on with AFI movie lists (http://www.afi.com/100ye
ars/) to start understanding American culture.
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