How would you explain the Higgs boson particle to a seven-year old?

Little Jimmy: "Daddy, I heard them talking on the news about a God Particle. What's that?"
Me: "That would be the Higgs Boson."

Little Jimmy: "What's a Higgs?"
Me: "That's Mister Higgs to you. He's the guy who postulated that boson."
Jimmy: "What's a boson?"
Me: "There are two kinds of statistics that particles follow. One discovered by Mr. Fermi and one discovered by Mr. Bose. The ones that do what Mr. Fermi says they do are called fermions and the ones that do what Mr. Bose says they do are called bosons."

Jimmy: "And what do they do?"
Me: "Well, to answer that I'll have to use some big, scary words. But they're actually easy to understand."
Jimmy: "Alright."

Some Parenting Hacks That Will Make Life with Kids Just a Little Easier

• Bathe your child in a laundry basket so that their toys don’t float away.
  
  
                                                                                                                                             
• A rubber band can keep your child from getting locked in the bathroom.
  
  
• Make a bracelet for your child with your phone number on it.